Washing the Ass Hole

 

ASS HOLES need to be washed properly when you have done your thing. I cannot comprehend why people, especially those who make decisions for property developers, fail to apply the most basic of all concepts, How to Wash Your Ass Hole? When you shit, it does not hit the fan, it spreads all over your ass hole. Therefore, you need to address that. Out of all the elements God had given us, some people choose paper? Come on. We all know paper can't do shit. If you don't believe me, try licking the ass holes of those who just did paper wipe. If you are lucky, the dude had sharwarma last night, and maybe you'll get a weird version of minced lamb taste. Whatever happened to the liquidified format of compressed two Hidrogen atoms with one Oxygen atom? H2O. Don't you think water does better than freaking papers? We do not need rocket science. For heaven sake, we sent a man to the moon but we cannot wash our asses properly? And when we do get water, it will be one of those modern Japanese toilet. Why can't they just give me a water gun a.k.a. bidet? No, they had to give those stupid water shooters that comes out like a crane targetting your ass. Don't they ever considered that apart from the ass, we'd probably also need to wash our dicks?

The Les Paul Incident

 

GIBSON LES PAUL Greeny is my most precious guitar from a collection of 69 pieces. Six months ago I fell down the stairway while holding two Gibson Les Pauls including the Greeny. Out of impulse, I accidentally had a quick and sudden response to move my arms upwards to save the guitars at the expense of the well being of, luckily, just 1 arm/shoulder. As a result, the six months were full of pain and agony to the extent that I had numerous sleep disruptions. Finally in April 2025, I did an MRI and found out that I had torned my shoulder tendon and ligaments. Now I am on frequent physio treatment at Thomson Hospital, Kota Damansara. But, don't worry, the Les Pauls are not damaged. Fiuhhh!!!..... 

Friendship, Faith and Food

 

FRIENDSHIP is all about reaching a common ground between people of the same social group. Four friends; a Buddhist, a Hindu, a Christian and a Muslim discussed how they should meet up for a potluck lunch without offending anyone's religion. The problem is, they only decided to discuss this during the meet up when they had all brought each other's contribution. The Buddhist said, "I am a strict Vegetarian. So, I cannot eat the chicken, the crayfish and the beef that you guys brought". The Hindu said, "I am a strict Hindu. So, I cannot eat the beef that you guys brought". The Christian said, "I am a strict Christian. So, I cannot eat the crayfish that you guys brought". The Muslim said, "I am a strict Muslim. So, I cannot eat at all because I am fasting". The four friends decided to adopt the strictest diet, hence they all fasted. Soon they got tired and weak and they all fell asleep. The Buddhist, the Hindu and the Christian then woke up at around dusk and they saw the Muslim eating the veggies, the chicken, the beef and the crayfish.

Social Media, a New Age Opium

 

MALAYSIA is ranked 5th globally and 2nd in Asia for cyberbully incidences. Wow! What a category to have achieved top rankings. We, Malaysians, should be ashamed. What had caused this? The narcissistic behaviour (on line & social media) of Malaysians, particularly the young ones, is pathetic. This may have invited cyberbullies to capitalise on personal information of individuals. There are 28 million social media users in Malaysia. That is almost 93% of Malaysia's population (2024). I can't help to notice that Malaysians love to post everything that they do in life onto social media. From the proud moments of their children getting A's in exams all the way to what tea or coffee they drink. Why? I hope what had happened to Vivy Yusof of Fashion Valet becomes a learning point to all. Perhaps Malaysians should follow Vivy's approach and fasting from posting (on social media). A refreshed privacy can be achieved I reckon. War against social media should suffice to curb this new age addiction that is deadly in deteriorating all of our brains. Perhaps opium would rank lower than social media? God forbid, our brains may become useless at some point. No wonder humanity is showing interest in artificial intelligence. An eventual slavery for humanity I suspect.

It is Always at the End of the Terminal

 

AIRPORTS pisses me off. Is there something wrong with me that the Universe decided to ALWAYS assign me the last and farthest air plane boarding gate? As far as I can remember, in my entire life, I have always had to walk so far down the corridors until the end of it, coupled with occasional transit trains or busses to another detached terminal, for which, embarks me to another long walk down another corridor, yet again with the last gate at the end of the stretch. This is very amusing, confusing and leaves me to wonder why. Once I'd reach my destination, that is almost to the end of the World, suddenly, a son, or two, would say, "Daddy, I wanna go to the toilet!". Guess where the nearest toilet would be?

Don't Leave Your Brain When You Leave

 

BRAIN is an important organ. Without it, there is no point in having hearts, livers, lungs, limbs, stomach or even penises. This makes me wonder, if the ancient Egyptians believe that they will be resurrected in a brand new world when they die in this world, then why did they remove all the organs from their bodies for mummifcation process? Wouldn't they need at least the brain to begin with? Or, perhaps dump their neuro-surgeons into the tomb so that someone has the expertise to reinstall the brain back in? The next life would be meaningful if the brain remains with us, wouldn't it? But, hey! Lo and behold, although it was once thought that Egyptians remove the brain while embalming bodies, it is now understood through recent research that the brain was never removed and remained intact in the mummies. Yay! They can now function with brains in that new life. For me, I sure need my lungs to go with me. Otherwise, I'd be cranky not being able to smoke my cigarettes. While I'm at it, I should throw in some cartons of Marlboro into the tomb as well.

Japanese Must be the Best City Builders

 

JAPANESE must be the best city builders. Recently, I brought my boys to Tokyo. Tokyo is so well developed and constructed. It does not appear to have any ruins. This raised suspicion. How do they coupe? The city has been through so many destructions, thanks to the two culprits, Godzilla and Ultraman. Godzilla and Ultraman, as well as whatever monsters they fought with, have done so much damage frequently for the past four decades! It is almost impossible to rebuild Tokyo that frequent for all those years. Therefore, Japanese must be the best city builders in the World.